For Immediate Release September 7, 2020:
Many inventions, archeological, and medical discoveries happened by pure chance. Some of these accidental discoveries include such things as penicillin, corn flakes, the microwave, fireworks, play-Doh, and the Dead Sea Scrolls. All of these discoveries have likely touched all of our lives in one way or another.
A more recent find could prove to be the most important find within the last hundred years. A pair of golden tablets measuring 20 inches by 12 Inches each were found in a field under a rotted tree stump in northern New York state near Potsdam. It is surmised that sometime before Europeans came to America, the plates were buried under this tree.
The inscriptions are in an ancient American Native language that may be dated as far back as 1500 BC. It is allegedly a message from an ancient god, not the God, to mankind. It is full of warnings and predictions that may even apply to today’s political conflicts.
The major emphasis of the writings concerns a powerful leader who would arise and anger the world. He would be very effective, but hated. This person would rise from the dust of the ground and rise to the top of the mountain where the gods live.
The writings tell us that this person is predicted to take various wives and to have more money than most others. Arrows and spears are constantly aimed at him, but they cannot stop his reign. The world wants him gone. He must be gone. He is igniting fires and stirring the pot. Beware! Beware! Beware!
Could this warning be focused on President Trump? Could this be the time?
September 8: URGENT UPDATE
Our apologies. As these plates were being carefully cleaned, there was a darkened area that obscured some more writing on the bottom of one of the plates. After the application of some chemical cleansers the obscured writing was readable.
There was only one short sentence. Made in China-2020
satire - noun — the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
The Washington Exterminator is a satirical news website.