Axios ‘Explainer’ Wants Your Family to Take COVID Tests before Coming to Thanksgiving

Leftist website Axios told readers to hire security guards to force family members to take COVID tests before being allowed to enter your home for Thanksgiving.

Axios is a left-wing website that pretends to be “journalism” that “explains” the facts to you. And according to Axios, Thanksgiving is an evil superspreader event that you should either cancel or safeguard.

And, by safeguard, they mean you should hire intimidating bouncers to guard your door to prevent any family member from entering unless they take a COVID test.

Yes, nothing says Thanksgiving like intimidating bouncers who force you to undergo a medical test before being allowed to enter you family member’s home for a turkey dinner.

“No one really wants this job, but millions of households may need their own Thanksgiving bouncer,” Axios wrote, adding, “the cover charge is a negative COVID test, done ahead of arrival or outside the front door.”

Of course Axios allowed that your family members can bring their vaccine cards to prove their suitability for your table. So, there’s that.

Still, Axios insists that “normalizing rapid tests is a practical way to help extended families feel a little more normal around the holiday dinner table.”

But wait, there’s more. Axios also says that you should charge your family members for their COVID tests, too!

So, here is the scene: You fly 2,000 miles wearing a mask in a cramped airplane to visit mom and dad back home. But, once you get there, you meet a burly bouncer who forces you to take a medical test before seeing your parents. And they then force you to fork over $50 for your test.

Yep. Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.

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Warner Todd Hutson

Warner Todd Huston has been writing editorials and news since 2001 but started his writing career penning articles about U.S. history back in the early 1990s. Huston has appeared on Fox News, Fox Business Network, CNN, and several local Chicago News programs to discuss the issues of the day. Additionally, he is a regular guest on radio programs from coast to coast. Huston has also been a Breitbart News contributor since 2009. Warner works out of the Chicago area, a place he calls a "target rich environment" for political news.

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