Satire: Al Gore’s DNA Ancestry Doesn’t Add Up

When people take a DNA test such as the ones offered on Ancestry or 23 and Me they can learn a lot about themselves and their families. The results can include potential health issues and family ancestry. One’s ancestry can  track back for many generations via these tests. It is a wonderful tool in this day and age. 

We would all probably like to know more about our lineage. All humans could, if possible, be tracked all the way back to Adam and Eve, but we don’t have that technology yet. We can, however, go back quite a ways in a family history.

Unfortunately Al Gore’s DNA test results was unusual to say the least. His DNA can only trace him back to 1947, and specifically to June 14, 1947. Why this abnormal result and what, if anything does it mean? Surely he had parents, right? Did something unusual happen on that particular date?

It took quite a lot of research to  make sense of this riddle. The June 14th date did not ring a bell at first. I knew it was right after WWII, but beyond that I had no idea.

With my curiosity nagging at me, I took to mining the internet for any clues. There was actually a lot going on around that time, but nothing that would raise suspicion of anything unusual.

After some intense research, I finally hit the jackpot. June 14, 1947 was the date of the famous Roswell Incident that took place in Roswell, New Mexico. It was reported by the Air Force and then later denied that a UFO had crashed in Roswell. To this day, Roswell is a tourist town full of alien statues, dolls, memorabilia and UFO souvenirs. 

Here is the interesting part of my discovery. Al Gore was born 9 months after the alleged flying saucer crashed in Roswell. Al Gore was likely the product of “directed panspermia.” This means that Gore was seeded by aliens. This is not hard to believe.

When people say that Al Gore’s ideas are out of this world, they aren’t kidding!